realistic captions for selfies:
- i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty
- i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird
- i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes
- i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit
- this is the best photo i’ve ever taken please shower me with compliments
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
look what we have here
i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
i want to cry
He tried so hard. And got so far. But in the end. It doesn’t even matter.
they should have made specialty ice cream flavors for the election
mint romney and obamanana split
i’m 500% done with this site
barackyroad
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
wtf look at this rectangle cow
We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater.
It also came with a little hat.
My cat hates me.
